Relationship

The lights were out and darkness filled the living room. It was a monday night and something must have gone terribly wrong when Grey's Anatomy was replaced with the usual black screen. Silence flooded the floor as i entered into the cold and lonely house. I dismissed the anomaly and went straight to my mum's room. A healthy chat with her ending with a wild goose chase over a cockroach signalled that all is well at home. So i changed into my running gear and went for my overdue run.

An hour later, i covered 5km and 200 jumping jacks. Cooled down and got home, again. This time round, something was different. I could hear some commotion in my mum's room and it's highly unusual for her to be up at 12 midnight. So i dumped my perspiration soaked vest into the laundry basket before running up the stairs, ignoring the built up lactic acid in my thighs. The door opened to a tearing sister halfway through a conversation with my mother. Apparently, it happened again. This time round, the guy went banana splitting.

While it is seemingly similar to someone, i refuse to classify it under the same "case". Once again, I was called to the role of "doctor love" and as we adjourned out of my mum's room, i was obliged to pour out some advice (under the order of my mother and also the brotherly love in me). Somehow, it is so wrong and unfitting for someone like me to be in such a role. Not when i have one terribly failed relationship, one bad relationship, one puppy love and one guilt-filled, regretful relationship under my belt. What kind of advice can i give? If there had been an award for "the worst possible lover", i would have gotten it without any contest. But under such circumstances, I was elected to be the only plausible candidate. Outside our room, sat my sister, me and God. No one else was around. God couldn't talk to my sister, so i did.

I am not going to spill the beans about what went wrong in my sister's relationship, rather, it triggered off memories of what happened to mine. It offered me yet another perspective, yet another view, this time from that of a female. From that of a crying female. From a female that i could not find any fault with because i love her so, because she is and she will always be my sister. How it pains my mother and also my heart to see the youngest child in our family to be crying, to see her with red swollen eyes, to see her with such anguish on her face. The last time i remember seeing her like this was way back when we were still fighting during our childhood.

Over the hour of conversation, i spoke to her aplenty. After listening to her side of the story, i dished our whatever advice i deemed fit, both as a brother and as a guy who have been through several (failed) relationships. I remembered saying that a relationship has its success rooted in both parties and similarly, its failure comes only when both parties pull the plug. Commitment and trust are two major essentials to a healthy relationship. There's no such thing as "i trust you abit", "i give you 10% trust" because somethings are black and white. If you want a relationship to work out, then you have to be fully commited and give the other party the full trust deserved. You may or may not agree with me but this is something which i've concluded over the past year. Some couples go through a rough patch and things go terribly wrong. One of them says to the other "alright, i will give you another chance." Yet not many of them truly meant what they said. I've come across a few who confessed that they could not bring themselves to trust their partners fully after they patched things up. So why bother giving the chance? Things did not work out the first time and you expect them to the second time round when you don't put in 100%? I find that hard to believe. To all those who get a chance to reading this and happens to be in the same situation, do consider assidously before commiting yourself to such a decision. Relationship, i said, is like planting crops. You're only going to reap what you sow. I know it's hard to fully trust and put in even more commitment the second time round after the crops fail to yield. Yet if you do not and act in self defence mode, how do you expect the crops to grow healthly? Alright, perhaps i've drifted away from the main topic again. Thoughts are just overflowing and i do not have time to tidy them up.

Statics paper is tomorrow and i've yet to do anything about it. Hopefully my practices over the past weeks will aid me in my final dash. All the best to those who are still having exams. Adios.